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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has long been the safe haven of your Daily, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, particularly within football. What a delight it was to learn that a prominent writer a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet in his house. Spare a thought for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity playing for City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to use the facilities in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking through the school acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes referees were previously subjected to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|